FrostWalker

THE SARCOPHAGI - BOOK I - FROSTWALKER

Chapter 1 - A Sledgehammer At The Door

I soared on an endless torrent of Octameth, and yet I was drowning in it? I was caught on a magnificent tidal wave, though I couldn’t find my way to the shore? The shore? Why would I even want to find the shore? I was riding that tidal wave of data! I owned that tidal wave! I owned the data! And yet, the torrent was somehow just as frightening as it was beautiful?

XIII was frightening! XIII was beautiful!

There is so much data, but I can almost see it! It’s all so simple, and yet it’s all so complex? The permutations are endless? It’s as beautiful as it is terrifying!

What is XIII?

Peaches?

I can taste peaches?

I need to swim to the shore!

I can smell Marcy’s sweat!

I can feel Marcy’s fingers interlaced with mine!

I can smell blood!

Peaches?

──‡✦‡──

I awoke to confusion and a banging headache! As I opened my eyes, I immediately closed them again. Slivers of daylight were creeping in through the sides of the curtains, like lightning bolts spearing straight into my skull.

However it was a lesson well learned.

I need to keep my eyes closed. Please don’t let there be any blood! I can’t taste peaches? Is that good or bad? I need to open my eyes, just to see the time! There won’t be any blood! I can’t smell any blood! I can feel my watch! I can do a reverse blink! Genius concept! I’ll just open my eyes for a split-second, then close them again! I can’t taste peaches! I can’t smell blood!

I held my watch in front of my face and briefly opened my eyes to check the time, then closed them again.

I could have opened and closed my eyes quicker, given the afterimage from my watch display is somehow seared into my vision, alongside the lightning bolts?

Idea! How about if I was to reverse blink at a rate of…

Will you shut up and focus? Think!

Why is the afterimage from my watch hovering at the back of my eyelids alongside the lightning bolts creeping in from the curtains? Oh, the lightning bolts are fading! That’s a good sign! But given the afterimage from my watch is burned into my brain, how is it possible that I don’t know what time it is?

I can’t taste peaches! I can’t smell blood!

Focus! Read the afterimage! It’s a mirror image? No, it’s upside down? No, it’s the right way up? Yes! 14:06. Who the fuck is waking me up at this ridiculously early hour of the day?

The noise sounded like someone attacking my brain with a sledgehammer, but after a few seconds, which felt more like hours, I realised it was someone hammering on my door with entirely too much enthusiasm. That was definitely an improvement on someone using a sledgehammer on my brain. I tried to sound angry, but I’m sure it came out as more of a pathetic whimper. “What?”

The sledgehammer stopped and was replaced by the sound of nails screeching down a blackboard as Jax shouted. “Kel, it's 2pm, and you're still in bed! Our new flatmates have arrived. Oh, and Marcy says you're fired. She says she’s coming back in an hour to kill you. However she might be disappointed there, because I might have killed you first, you fucking idiot!”

I tentatively opened my eyes, and with relief, there were no lightning bolts (as long as I didn’t look at the curtains anyway). I queried. “What are you talking about Jax? What happened last night?”

Jax hissed. “You tell me what happened last night Kel? You stumbled in drunk at five in the morning, stinking of perfume. After I’d bundled you into the shower, you seemed surprised that I didn't have green hair or tattoos? Then after you’d fucked me, I kicked you out of my bed. Well done for somehow managing to climb the stairs to your own bed!”

A flashback of Jax laughing in glee as she shocked me awake with a freezing cold shower fought its way to the front. It wasn’t a particularly nice memory, but I held on to it all the same. I suspected it was probably one of the nicer memories from last night. Maybe if I held on to that memory, the other memories fighting over the chance to humiliate me next might get bored and go away?

My laughter echoed around my skull as I fought for a semblance of witticism. “So let me get this right Jax? What you really meant to say is that I turned up drunk, you woke me up with a cold shower, had your wicked way with me, then kicked me out of bed for snoring?”

Jax’s scream was at just the perfect pitch to split my skull in two. “It might be those are the only things you’re any use for Kel! Getting drunk, fucking, and snoring!”

Ha! I can’t remember, but it seems I was bang on the money. So why exactly am I to blame for Jax taking advantage of me whilst I was drunk? That seems somewhat back to front?

As I activated my watch, I was greeted by a landslide of alerts, consisting mostly of security warnings. Someone had obviously been lying in wait, given the sudden torrent of pings and potential attacks hammering at my system. I locked down my firewall and node in confusion. The attacker was already inside the network? That was somewhat worrying! I filtered out non-critical alerts. A glance at my messages quickly told me that I probably didn’t want to read any of them.

That’s quite the paradox. Would it be better to know what the fuck happened last night, or would it be better that I was left in ignorance? More importantly, who the fuck is trying to hack me? And most importantly, why the fuck is my vision shimmering? If it didn’t make me feel sick, it’d actually look pretty cool!

As flashbacks from the night before fought their way to the front, I tried to reject the more embarrassing memories. I was entirely unsuccessful, mainly due to the fact that the only memories I had were embarrassing. I put up a valiant defence against the worst memories for a few minutes, but they won through in the end.

Well thank you memories! Why don’t you just slide right the fuck in here uninvited? Why don’t you give me lots of tiny, clear as day little snapshots, with no fucking context? Somehow clear as day, but at the same time clear as mud? But I’m sure you did your best! Thanks for your fucking help!

Did Jax say something about green hair? Oh fuck! No! Tattoos? Please tell me I’m not married? Actually, please tell me I am married? What the actual fuck is going on?

I decided that another cold shower might kill me, so instead opted for scalding hot. After throwing up, I spiked four milligrams of Octameth, then felt it was a lot less likely I was about to die. Though the most confusing thing was, I couldn’t work out why I was even awake in the first place, never mind why I’d crawled out of bed? Then the most important memory hit me like a train wreck. Fortunately this was the only good memory I’d had so far, so it was a warm and cuddly train wreck. That cheered me up, and after that, a wave of good memories wrapped me up like a warm woolly jumper, consisting mostly of green hair and tattoos. However those memories then twisted into something hovering between the best dream I’d ever had, and the worst nightmare I’d ever had.

Green hair! Tattoos! Fuck! Did I get married? Do I want to be married? Well that entirely depends on who I got married to?

As further memories filtered through, it all went sideways!

Fuck! Green hair? Tattoos? Was one of them an angel, and the other a demon? If so, which was which? Or were they both angels and demons?

After checking my wardrobe and under my bed, I realised there were no girls with green hair or tattoos in my room, so I calmed down a little.

I started my search in the most obvious place, my jacket pocket.

No! Where the fuck is it?

As I searched my room, my frustration soon turned to panic!

Please tell me I didn’t imagine it? Where the fuck is it?

After turning my room upside down, I went back to the start, to check my jacket pocket once more. Despite the fact that it was exactly where I’d expected it to be in the first place, I’d somehow missed it the first time? That might have seemed highly suspicious if it wasn’t such a common occurrence. It was obviously the fairy! The fairy would temporarily move things, then put them back where they were supposed to be. Then the fairy would laugh at me as I finally found what I’d been looking for, exactly where I’d checked in the first place!

What was I looking for again? My wallet!

Sometimes the fairy was clever, so my next guess would have been to check the fridge. I was fairly sure that finding things in the fridge wasn’t always the fairy, and sometimes it was my fault. It was amazing how many times I found my key-card or wallet in the fridge after stumbling into the flat drunk to open a beer? Now leaving my key-card in the fridge kind of made sense? Since I’d have it in my hand as I opened the front door? I’d go straight to the fridge and swap my key-card for a beer? That seemed like a fair trade! However why I’d sometimes put my wallet in the fridge, I still couldn’t quite work out? That was definitely the fairy!

Does the fairy make me pay to drink my own beer from my own fridge? That seems a bit unfair! Maybe that’s why I leave my wallet in the fridge? That might explain where all my money goes!

Fuck! The green haired girl! She was tiny! She wasn’t an angel! Actually no, she was an angel! She wasn’t a demon! No, she was a demon! But she’s the fairy! She was small, she was gorgeous, she looked like a fairy, she didn’t have pointed ears, but her earlobes tasted like candy, and she danced like a fairy!

The green fairy didn’t have wings, but she looked like she should have had wings as she flew through the air in an impossible spinning roundhouse kick! Her wings were moving so fast they were invisible! She was a green haired demonic angel fairy...

I really hope it was all a dream, because she was the scariest fairy I’ve ever met in my life. Actually I’m not sure I’ve ever met a fairy before? Or if she was a fairy? And actually, I doubt that fairies actually exist? Or I did doubt fairies existed until last night anyway! Besides, I’d probably classify her more as a demon than a fairy. Not that I’ve ever met a demon before either. Actually I’m pretty sure if I called her a fairy, I’d be dead right now. And I’m pretty sure if I called her a demon, I’d die happy. She was unbelievably cute, beautiful, and I think I love her! And her earlobes tasted like candy! She was the cutest, scariest, demonic angel fairy I’ve ever met in my life! And that’s a pretty high bar to beat.

Actually that’s a lie? The bar can’t have been high? Given I’ve never met a demonic angel fairy before? But I think she set the bar pretty fucking high? And I’m sure she could whirlwind kick higher than that bar if she was sober! I want wings!

Bar? Fuck! Wait a minute? Did we trash a bar last night? No, that was the green haired fairy! And the girl with the tattoos? We didn’t get married, did we? I think we agreed to get married? Would that make me royalty? She was a princess! Anyway, they trashed the bar! It wasn’t me!

I checked under my bed, inside my wardrobe, then sighed in relief. There were no demons, fairies, or angels hiding in my room! And yet, I couldn’t quite lie to myself convincingly enough to think that somehow made me safe?

Right, what was I looking for again?

I realised that somehow there was a blue and silver coin in my hand. I was mesmerised as it slowly pulsed the most beautiful blue I’d ever seen in my life. The silver glistened as the lightning bolts of sunlight crept in from the side of the curtains to catch it with pure perfection. I put the coin in my back pocket, then looked around suspiciously. The green fairy was obviously a pickpocket, so I took the coin from my back pocket, kissed it, then put it in my front pocket. The fairy couldn’t steal it from there!

The fairy didn’t seem too happy about this however, given that she seemed to have tilted the building by several degrees? Actually she’d titled the building by a lot more than several degrees? I shouldn’t have to climb the floor? But I wouldn’t be defeated! I somehow managed to walk up the wall to open the door.

Wait? What was I looking for again? The fairy! She stole my key-card and my wallet? They’ll be in the fridge for sure!

I checked my jacket again, and either I was on top form, it was all a dream, the fairy had the night off, or the fairy had just done her usual temporary dislocation. I found my key-card and wallet in my jacket pocket! How had I somehow missed them when I’d searched my jacket before?

Blasted fairy!

I transferred my key-card and wallet into my jeans pocket! I felt there was something pressing I needed to do, but I still couldn’t quite work out why I was awake in the first place, never mind out of bed? I decided to brush my teeth, confirmed my key-card and wallet were in my pocket, laughed at the fairy, then stumbled down the stairs.

Right, all I need to do is find the fairy with green hair, who stole my wallet and key-card! Actually I’m in two minds as to whether I want to find the fairy or not. She was scary, but then again, her earlobes tasted like candy! She was unbelievably beautiful!

Focus! I just need to find my wallet and my key-card! The fairy will have hidden them in the fridge as usual! I really hope the fairy isn’t hiding in the fridge. Though she was pretty cute, and I’d love it if she was in the fridge! Then again, she was absolutely terrifying! Don’t open the fridge!

Chapter 2